After the years have passed, it all disappears.
This is what some couples fail to see.
After how many years, the spark will go. The reasons why you loved the other person will be unknown. The butterflies in your stomach will soon disappear. You will forget why you liked that person in the first place.
You’ll start to see all the wrong and the ugly you chose to look blindly in your beginnings. Now, going home to each other’s arms is not as exciting to look forward to as before. Cuddling and those exchange of sweet words become rare and all the fighting will take over. Sex will become less and less.
You’ll be shocked that one day, those nights and hours you spend in sex will now be spent in silence and arguments. You’d rather cover your partner up rather than take their clothes off. Appreciation goes less and less too. You have to accept that. This is the sad reality of long term relationships. You become familiar with each other rather than staying “in love” with each other.
You become more of friends rather than lovers. This is the stage where you choose, is being with this person worth it anymore? Are the fights worth it or is it easier to just get out and leave? Some couples make it, some don’t. Why? Because they all made the choice some didn’t make. They chose to stay, maybe because of some strong roots or maybe because they don’t want to start again.
I once came across someone who has been married for 30 years. I asked her, “did you ever caught your husband cheat?” She said, “of course, it is normal. After some time you’ll just get used to it and think that the most important thing will be that he goes home to you every night.” That is how their relationship worked for so many years. But isn’t it sad? To be used to some habits that die hard? Well if that’s their case, I respect that. I also came across a man who has been married for 10 years and decided to end it after he caught his ex wife cheating.
I asked, how come you ended it when others would just forgive? He said “a man’s ego will always be there. Maybe the double standards of the society added factors or maybe I realized she wasn’t worth it anymore.” It was a sad ending but hey, he’s happier now with someone and I guess it all comes down to one vital thing, happiness. “Don’t sleep mad at each other” — one of the lines I always hear from commercials, blogs and the likes but I tell you this. Sometimes sleeping off an argument is better rather than facing it while everything is hot. You respect each other enough that when they’re not ready, you give them space to think things through. You don’t need to fix it outright. Sometimes it causes more damage.
Time out is also good for each other. Time out to think and meditate not time out to go message other people and flirt! The society has so much influenced us that having a long term relationship is easy, just forgive and forget and it’s done. Road to forever! But that’s not it. There will be a lot of unspoken words, a lot of unnecessary words thrown at you, and a lot of pride and changes to adapt to.
Being in a road to a long term relationship is good but never forget to not lose yourself while in it. Be with a person who will not mind if you get fat or your skin sags or you lose the beauty that once made him fall for you, after all you are not a timeless beauty.
Make sure that you’re in that road with someone who will be worth your love, pain and anger, worth your time and effort and most of all, worth of that kindness your heart has yet to unleash.
– Fox Garcia